Spin The Bottle
by HelloHogwarts
Summary: The Hogwarts staff decide to play Spin The Bottle. AU


Dumbledore knew it was wrong to join the 'spin the bottle' game that his fellow staff had organized.

It was game night, and instead of settling down with a refreshing glass of pumpkin juice and engaging in a mind-bending, competitive and most enjoyable game of Galleonopoly, Filius Flitwick had suggested playing 'spin the bottle' after catching some students playing it in the common room when he went to get a glass of butterbeer in the middle of the night.

Dumbledore had never heard of such ruckus in his lifetime. A game which involved passionately kissing somebody based on pure chance? Had the young ones ever even heard of commitment? Yet, here he was, sitting in a circle surrounded by his colleagues with an empty bottle of firewhiskey just waiting to be spun.

An argument was formed before the staff even considered playing such a ridiculous game. Minerva was certainly unimpressed and yelled for ten minutes straight about the importance of promise, while Flitwick got a little bit tipsy and told Minerva to "shove promise up her bum" and to "stop being such a Percy Weasley".

"How could you say such a thing!" Minerva yelled. "Percy is a lovely boy, in fact he's the only one who actually shows that he gives a toss about what I teach!"

"He's a smart arse who nobody likes!" Flitwick retorted. "I can't stand the bloody boy! He thinks he's superior to everyone else!"

"HE IS!"

"NOT THE POINT!"

But after slipping something Dumbledore would rather not talk about into her drink, Minerva instantly calmed down.

"So…who's spinning first?" asked Flitwick mischievously, rubbing his palms together and smiling gleefully. Remus slowly raised his hand.

"Ah, Lupin! The perfect candidate! Spin for your life, my boy!" Filius announced.

Remus flicked the tip of the bottle, which sent it spinning round. He watched it nervously, waiting to see where it would land. And as the staff pondered on who Remus wanted it to land on, the bottle landed on someone he surely didn't want it to.

Pomona Sprout coughed loudly when she saw the bottle land on her. "I can't kiss Lupin!" she said, horrified. "I'm bloody old enough to be his mother!"

"Rules are rules," Flitwick reminded them.

Lupin looked as if he was about to cry. "Oh, Merlin," he sighed, leaning in to receive his smooch from Pomona.

Pomona leaned in as well, shutting her eyes tightly and puffing out her lips so that she looked like a fish. Their lips were an inch away from each other, but both of their bodies refused for them to go any further, so Filius decided to help them out.

Grabbing their heads, he _smooshed_ them together, and both the staff and Dumbledore agreed, it was the most forced, awkward and shocking kiss they'd ever seen. Lupin looked as if he were about to vomit, and Pomona looked as if she was thoroughly enjoying it.

When they finally pulled away, Remus asked if he could be excused, and then ran away crying.

"It's nice to kiss some fresh meat instead of the wrinkles I'm used to," smiled Sprout.

"Alrighty," Flitwick said, ignoring Pomona's inappropriate comment. "Who's next?"

"What about Dumbledore? He is the head master, after all," snarled Snape.

"Fabulous thinking Snape! Dumbledore, spin zee bottle!" Filius commanded.

"Well, okay then," Dumbledore said quietly. He scrutinized the empty bottle, before quickly spinning it. And who would it land on, but Minerva McGonagall.

Dumbledore and Minerva looked up at each other, shocked, but hidden on their faces was a hint of excitement. There had always been that silent dash of romance in their colleague relationship.

"Well, we better just get it over with," Minerva growled. They both put their heads in, and this time there was no forcing needed from Filius. Minerva gripped Dumbledore, zealously kissing Albus. And Dumbledore made absolutely no effort to stop her.

"They just past first base!" yelled Poppy Pomfrey.

"Indeed they did," agreed Flitwick, mesmerized.

Ron Weasley pushed the door open, and started blabbing on about some new issue with his rat. Unfortunately, none of the staff noticed as they were preoccupied with Dumbledore and McGonagall eloping.

"Scabbers isn't looking too well-" and then he saw. "HOLY SHIT! HERMIONE! HARRY! DUMBLEDORE AND MCGONAGALL ARE DOING IT!"


End file.
